CANCER: Out Damn Spot. Out!

I realize that I kinda left the blog hanging what with all that talk about Radiation Induced Brachial Plexiopathy. Sorry! But, here's the deal. Sure, I blogged about it and sounded pretty sane. But, I was freaked out. No, not because I was positive that the over-the-phone, nut-job diagnosis was correct. But, actually because of fatigue and weariness. I mean....really. Before cancer, I had no idea what a brachial plexus was. And now, I am dogged with information about the many, many messed up things that can happen to body parts of which I never knew the name....So, my reaction? I buried my nose in my Kindle app, took tons of naps and fed the kids left-overs.

But I recovered. Yes, I did.

I got up the next morning breathing FIRE. I must say, it was a pretty crappy week anyway, so this was the cherry on top. My course of events included getting out of bed, showering, walking the boys to school, and upon my return, promptly calling my radiation oncologist, Dr. Spiegel and demand to be seen that very day.

It worked.

At 2:30 PM Wednesday I found myself sitting in the waiting room of the SCI in Issaquah. Sure, I tried my very best to joke along with the amazing staff. I DID! (And, Lorrie- seriously, thanks for passing on the message from the pizza guy. I promise to follow-up with him and get that free pizza.) But my heart really wasn't in it. I was annoyed, anxious, terrified, etc....

So, they walk me back to the room. Dr. S makes his grand appearance- (I really like this man!) And I lay it all out for him. His eyes become the size of dinner plates. And the first thing he does is apologize. That's right. This guy is so humble, he's cool with saying the words: "I'm sorry." And here's why: apparently the message was totally screwed up and totally incorrect. I was supposed to be told to schedule a follow-up with Dr. S. There was to be no mention of RIBP- as he's not even considering that as a possibility, as my radiation dose was half (HALF, I SAY) of the traditional amount given. But what he did say was that we needed to figure this thing out and in order to do that, he would need to rule out a cancer recurrence. Say WHAT? Cancer? Again? Seriously?

On the road to figuring this thing out, I underwent a PET CT. The PET is the one where after a 24 hour protein only diet, they inject radioactive dye into my veins and just like that, cancer cells show up. This was done at 8:00 AM, Friday. Dr. S promised he would call by the end of the day to confirm the results. I told him: "Man, you are putting yourself in a pretty shitty position, cuz you're either gonna make or break my weekend."

Friday afternoon Dr. S called, as promised. I sat down once I realized it was him- bracing myself for the outcome. Now, Dr. S could use a little work on his bedside manner because he stated: "Well, your PET CT was mostly good." Huh? Mostly? So, being me I said: "Man, what the Hell does that mean? Is my cancer back?" He stated that the lymphoma is still in sleep mode. I told him he should always LEAD with that information....However, there's a "spot" in my left breast. He doesn't believe it to be cancer. But, we still have to rule that shit out.

In order to rule that out, I need to do further tests- a diagnostic mammogram and an ultra sound. I'm lined up for those tests Friday.

The upside to these tests is there's no prep required on my part. So YAY! The downside is that the last time I had a mammogram, my left boob and arm swelled up. And while yes that is truly uncomfortable, my vain ass is more concerned about the formal, sleeveless satin gown I have to rock on Saturday night for the school auction. Such problems I have....

So there you have it. As of this moment in time, I do not have cancer. Granted, this may all change on Friday. But for now- I am cancer free! 

Now, kids- do yourself a favor and listen to this old, crabby bitch. Never, ever take a medical diagnosis over the phone from anyone but your doctor. EVER. And, always, always, always pursue the truth about what is going on with your body. This is tricky business, being human.

That being said, I still have nerve pain in my left hand- kinda like how your hand feels when you come in from the cold and it starts to warm up. That nasty pins and needles thingy.....But, the swelling in my left arm is under control.

Let's hold on tight to see how things fair this coming Friday. And let's all pray to the boob gods, that somehow, some way my boob keeps it under control for its Saturday night appearance!