Hi Friends!
I recently made a discovery- New Balance tennis shoes. I know...maybe that's nothing exciting to report to you, gentle reader. But truly this discovery blew my mind. And here's why: those damn things are so freakin' comfortable- and CHEAP. I now understand why so many people run around in sneakers. Damn.
I also needed to find something I could wear that was stylish, comfortable and wouldn't cause me to break an ankle due to my new crappy fragile bone status. And, New Balance sneakers look cute with my work gear. At least according to J. Crew they do...(oh, don't worry! I still have my 4 inch heels. Those aren't going anywhere...)
But wait! After purchasing my first pair and because I'm such a shoe freak, I went online to search out even more New Balance options. And, on the company website, I learned you can customize your very own shoe. WHAT THE HELL? How did I not know about this? I LOVE shoes. And, well my affection has only grown knowing I can actually design my own footwear. Someone really needs to call Prada.
You're probably wondering just why in the Hell I'm blogging about some stupid sneakers- and more importantly, what does this have to do with cancer? Fine, I'll tell you.
Applying my creative juices to this task, when it offered me the chance to personalize my shoes by adding some 8 character (max.) name, slogan, etc, I JUMPED! Initially I wrote BAD on the left shoe and BITCH on the right shoe. I thought that was genius, up until I realized that probably wouldn't go over well when I rock these at work. Maybe a little unprofessional?
So I took a minute to think about what I really want the world to know about me. I mean, isn't that the whole point of personalizing something? And while indeed, I am one BAD BITCH, I realize people figure that out within the first 30 seconds of meeting me. So, no need to put that message on my feet, right?
So, I thought; and thought; and thought some more. Then it dawned on me: SURVIVOR. Eight simple characters. Unoffensive. And the truth.
Now, to date I have shied away from calling myself a survivor. It is just such a powerful word in cancer world. It's a privilege. It's scary. It's a ticking time bomb for many of us. And because I have had such a tremendous journey both during and post treatment, I haven't seen myself as powerful. I mean, check it out- my lungs are a hot mess; my bones are weak; and thanks to the crappy steroids I am STILL on, I have a gut that rivals Homer Simpson's. Unlike Homer though, I cannot credit it to donuts and beer.
But through it all, I'm still here. And I have no plans of leaving anytime soon. And that means I am surviving. And fuck it. I'm wearing shoes that tell that story. They should arrive by Friday. And I cannot WAIT to get them.
Happy new year!
PS- I also overhauled my entire care team. I am now a patient with the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. To date, I have met with my hottie oncologist- Dr. Shustov- who is really pressuring me to give up Ativan. (Fat chance, buddy. That shit should be in the drinking water as far as I'm concerned...), I hook up with Dr. Madtes- pulmonologist today and Carole, my PT specialist on Friday.
I'll keep you all updated on my progress with my new team. I'm looking forward to what lies ahead in 2014. I hope you are too!
