That's right folks, you read it here- I made it to the 90 day mark. It has been 90 (actually 91) days since my very last treatment. And, I found out that I have some very, very sexy scans. No tumors. There's still some crap in my lungs from my little trip down bleomycin toxicity lane- but compared to what they looked like back in October, I am doing A-OK! That's awesome, right?
Well....now hold yer horses.....
Yes, the treatment part of the cancer journey has ended. Yes, I am tumor free. But I am not quite HEEEEAAAAUUUULLLLLED- yet.
I'll readily admit that I had no real substantial questions for either my oncologist or radiologist- (Ok, that's a lie. I did ask just when in the Hell my boobs would go back to normal size.) But they DID have some interesting information to offer. Namely, I will be immune compromised for the rest of my life and it's gonna take a year before I stop feeling like shit. See??? And you all thought it was all in my pretty little head.....
But let me explain- there's feeling like shit thanks to crappy chemo and radiation. And I truly believe most people who haven't undergone cancer treatment readily expect and even understand that. And then there's the feeling like shit that nobody every bothered to warn me about. Apparently the crappy drugs that saved my very life- and I expect to continue to save me- takes a tremendous toll on the ol' bod. And so, when I pushed my brilliant doctors a little further- they replied: "Yeah, you're gonna feel crappy for about a year."
WTF? A whole year? Maybe this will get me out of joining the gym after all....Kidding....
So, here's where it stands- 90 days post treatment. I am crazy, stupid tired. Still taking steroids till at least August. Though I've been told that the amount I'm taking is fairly minimal. (My reply? "Oh yeah? You better send a note to my adrenal glands cuz they're not on the same page....") And my lung function is improving daily.
You'll have to forgive me for not turning cartwheels and screaming like a little kid over all this information. I KNOW I should be happy. And, believe me- to not need chemo again is a true relief. But, to still feel yucky, when all I wanted to do was be that lady in the commercial who swam (SWAM!) daily during her radiation treatment is kind of a letdown.
C'mon now, it's not THAT bad. Just a little bit disappointing. As I explained to my doctor today, I really just wanted to be excellent- you know stellar in my recovery. I wanted to be the patient that you would make a commercial about...that bitch everyone envies while also aspiring to be like....and yet, I find out that, well I'm just normal in my recovery journey.
Oh well. There are worse problems, right? I could still have cancer. And for the next 90 days- till my next check-up, I don't.....
