CANCER: She blinded ME with Science....

Here's something I KNOW will get a resounding AMEN from all the ladies in the audience: Possessing "girl parts" frequently makes for a bumpy career path....There is no simple way to say it, single ladies and otherwise, we got it bad! Sure, we all know the statistics- women make $.60 for every $1.00 a dude makes. And, yet instead of staging a revolution by NOT going to work, we get our asses out of bed every day, slip on our work appropriate, non cleavage bearing clothing, and do our very best to make it in what clearly is, for many of us, a man's world.....Now if you think this is a feminist tirade, well you'd be wrong. It is however, an update on what's going on with me in cancer world.

Last Thursday I met my new oncologist, Tanya Wahl. Yep, it's a lady folks. And, with my VAST experience in the medical world, I know one thing really, really well. Lady doctors are tough....That's right- I tend to avoid them like the plague. Where a male doctor can afford to be both compassionate and deferential, my experience with lady doctors is that they are "deciders" and compassion isn't high on their list of survival skills. And,  you know what? I get it. I've had many a nurse explain to me the rough road lady doctors have to travel while in medical school. They are forced to shut down all that crap that makes us, well, women. You know, engaging in gab fests about the latest, greatest shoes and the coveted September issue......as well as expressing any kind of emotion when working with delicate, intimate information that patients like me rely on. In other words, lady doctors aren't big on hugging. But they WILL always make eye contact! So, the way I look at lady doctors is akin to the iron fist in the velvet glove; because, well I like to believe they're "trying."

Let me outline my Iron Fist, Velvet Glove experience with the good Dr. W:

She was an hour late for our appointment. 

Velvet glove: "Oh I am so very, very sorry for running behind. I hate running late for my patients and it rarely ever happens."

Iron Fist: "So, has anyone spoken to you about your need for radiation? That tumor in your chest is really big. And, you're probably gonna need it." 

ME: "What in the Hell are you talking about?"

VG: "Well, I haven't read your file yet. But just from looking at it, I don't want you to be surprised in the next couple of weeks."

ME: "Um, well how 'bout you get some reading done and we'll pick it up at that point?" 

IF: "And as far as your menstrual cycle, that shouldn't be a problem for much longer. The chemo puts you in menopause."

ME: "Forever and ever? Well I guess I should have known that, but was under the impression it was a possibility, rather than a fact. However, I'm not using my uterus anymore, so I guess that's alright then....Yay! No hot flashes!!!"

VG: "But, here's the good news! Your trait of sickle cell anemia will prevent you from ever getting malaria."

ME: "Seriously. In the few minutes you've known me, do I strike you as someone who would be caught dead in a place where I could contract malaria?"

VG: "Are you always this funny?"

ME: "Why yes. Yes I am."

She also cleared me to eat just about anything I damn well please. Cushioned that information with: "Well, you know, if you feel "empowered" or something by being on a restricted diet, go for it." I asked her: "Who in the Hell feels empowered by refraining from eating what they want? Seriously- I want to meet that bitch- cuz she's no friend of mine!"

With that she sent me down the hall to chemo and more good times.

This is it folks! We're at the half-way point and boy am I dragging! PET scan is scheduled for Tuesday 9/11- no I'm not kidding....and hopefully the news I get will help make that date a little less gritty.....

Thank you for your support, love, prayers and meals. Keep 'em coming.