You may recall in one or two of my past blogs, I mentioned something like how I was raised by wolves...Of course this can't be true as you all know just how much of an indoor cat I really am. Wolves my ass.
Instead, my family tree looks more like a clump of bushes. There are no linear lines as genetically I'm not related to those I call my family. In some ways there's some pluses- like not inheriting my father's overwhelming hairiness; and minuses- where will I turn should I need something like a kidney or bone marrow? I figure I'll cross that bridge when I get to it though. Probably wise of me, right?
But, growing up with folks I don't look like and can't get bone marrow from, has created in me this sort of dysfunctional concept of family. Basically anyone I meet, I regard as a potential family member- and I mean it.
Having undergone a recent divorce, this life skill has been called into play a great deal. I live 2,000 miles from my parents. My closest sibling is a two hour plane ride away. In other words, I'm out here, on my own for better and for worse. With two kids and a baby daddy in town, I need to stick around these parts for at least another 12 years. In other words, I'm all in. But where does this leave me in the cancer arena?
Sure, I could spend time licking my wounds and feeling sorry for myself. But c'mon you know me better than that. Instead, I decided that while I may not be able to make my marriage work, I can make the relationships with my former in-laws real and permanent. Partly this comes from a place of pragmatism. But the other part comes from real love and respect. I truly love and cherish the family members of my former spouse. Really! And let me tell you why- my sisters-in-law have shown up, uninvited, unannounced bearing trays of food that would seriously feed the inhabitants of a small African village. They don't care. They know what's good for me- even when I don't. And a NO from me is simply not an option. My niece, at 21 years of age and just as lovely as can be, stops by just to say hello and compare jeans and tee-shirts. And I can't help but love her for it.
(Yes, I have hundreds of amazing friends to boot. I have dedicated lots of words and time to you. So you know how much you mean to me. So don't go there!)
But there's something to be said about family- made up, stuck together with tape, full of forgiveness, and stepping up when they know what needs to be done, even when I don't. Thanks! You make me a better person. And don't for a second think I take any of this or you for granted.
The saying goes that you can't pick your family. But guess what? I did. My life (and I hope theirs) is all the better for it.
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