The other day, while chatting with a few friends, someone asked me if I was participating in any cancer support groups. She stopped herself short by stating: "Yeah, you don't strike me as one of those group joiner types of people." And, you know what, she was right. I will be the very first to confess my absolute joy and pleasure at marching to the beat of my own drum. Seriously. I find the beat to be so soothing, so right, so good, I figure why continue the search? This, of course, probably explains the two divorces I have under my belt...just sayin'....
What I've been told- and all of the cancer literature backs this up- is that I will undergo a bit of emotional rollercoastering. And, you know- I figure that's kinda like normal life right? You have your ups, downs, all while working really hard to keep your lunch down. But my journey hasn't really lived up to that so far. Instead, I have a lot of downs- plenty actually- and am more than happy to share with anyone willing to take any of them on.....But there's no real opportunity for the ups. In cancer-free world, a cancer free person is able to seek out some soothing stuff, like eat a fine meal in a fine dining establishment, exercise, shopping, dating, reality TV, vacationing, etc....Anything to get those endorphins pumping.....But, in my world where sleep is my daily headliner, I have narrowed it down to two things that might do the trick. They are: extreme couponing or cocaine.
Yet, the problem with extreme couponing, as far as I can tell is that there are no grocery stores in Seattle that offer double coupons. And, ya'll KNOW just how much I enjoy my Trader Joe's shopping experiences. Really, coupons just don't apply there.
Additionaly, my mom wisely pointed out that cocaine is illegal. Puh-LEEZE, I saw Blow....In reality, the deal breaker with cocaine actually lies in one of the more fun side effects of chemo. My nose runs like a freakin' faucet. Sure, it's gross and yet possibly endearing to some of you who are particularly close to me. But, seriously trying to get anything up there would require a degree in physics.
So, what is a down chick to do?
Initially I bought shoes. I think I'm up to approximately 20 pairs. But, then I got sad because I realized that this little lady is all dressed up with no place to go....
Then I stopped buying shoes. It really was getting out of hand....
Instead I decided to hang out with friends who make me laugh so hard it makes my side ache. And, you know what? That did the trick. Sure, it ain't no group therapy. Let's be honest, if I attended group therapy, I would spend the entire time making fun of everyone there- and trying to convince them that "no, really! I was just being funny!"
But, to be surrounded by my lovely, no-holds barred friends who say shit like: "Bitch, please....I didn't give your silly ass cancer. Now get up and let's go...." has made all the difference in the world. The friends who swear, SWEAR, that it really isn't a problem that I fall asleep on their sofa's- barefoot, of course- have been godsends. The friends who take the time to bring me dinners lovingly made with only the finest ingredients, including organic this and that, have been priceless.
They have been my emotional rescue. The conclusion I've drawn is that no matter what the outcome, and regardless of my choices in marital partners, I am a really, really talented friend picker. I surround myself with only the highest quality friends and yes, even family members. And I can never, ever thank them enough for putting up with me.
Thank you! This is for you!
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