Today, after much anticipation and moments of disbelief, it happened. I earned the privilege of being a bell ringer.
Ok, for those of you gutter minded folks....cleaning it up. My parents read this blog for crying out loud.....
You see, there's a tradition at Swedish- and maybe other cancer treatment places for that matter- where upon completion of chemo and radiation treatments you get to ring the coveted brass bell on the wall. Unfortunately I was denied that chance with the completion of chemo, given that 1) I didn't get to finish my last treatment because 2) my lungs were crapping out on me...oh well...
But this time- today, in fact, I got to ring the bell as it was my very last day for radiation. And ring it I did. I was told by my awesome radiation team, Brea and Win, to not be shy or timid. As crazy as it may sound...I was a little shy as I approached the bell. I didn't want the entire facility to hear me.....what if it came off as gloating? But no....they wouldn't give me a pass. They walked me over to the bell, stepped back and said "Go for it." And well, I did.
What followed both comforted and surprised me. I cried. Finally. No, no....none of that nutty out of control boo-hooing......but I was seriously choked up and know there is more to come. In ringing the bell, I announced to the cancer community, myself and to cancer itself, that we were done- at least for now. Cancer never became a friend. But it was a companion for the past seven months. And even in the role of crappy companion, I know I need to take some time to say goodbye.
I also reflected on the amazing abundance of love and support coming from so many places around the world. I now know without a doubt that my true friends want better for me than even I can imagine for myself. Thank you.
As I bid a farewell and a little bit of an F.U. to 2012, I am proud to know that somewhere, somehow, I earned my angel wings because I got to ring that damn bell.
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