CANCER: How will I KNOW???

Ok- I am dedicating this blog to all of my lovely hypochondriac followers. And let me be totally honeset when I tell you this- I understand those of you who ask me: "How did you figure this out?" I know you are asking this for two reasons: 1) you are concerned- really and 2) you're trying to figure out if you too could be called up for the big dance...So this is for you:

The symptoms: This is an easy one- about a year ago I noticed I big old swollen lymph node in my neck. Thinking it was just a residual node from a recent sinus infection, I thought nothing of it. Plus, it didn't hurt. And, my dear friend Mickelle Rodriguez recommended that I just "stick a heating pad on it...." Oh, and Mickelle didn't go to medical school, just so you know....

In January after starting awesome POWER YOGA, I noticed that my right armpit was swollen. Though I chalked that up to my bad ass, right side dominance from POWER YOGA (you really need to type that in all caps...just makes sense...) I also noticed a second swollen lymph node. Again, didn't hurt. Didn't think much about it. Oh, and one more thing- that space on my chest between my boobs was really, really itchy. My dear friend Melanie Fix told me: "That's just itchy winter skin." And surprise! Melanie didn't go to medical school either.

Finally in April I rolled over in bed and lo and behold, I found a massive lymph node (think the size of a whopper candy) in my right arm pit. While casually lying on my sofa, I made mention of this new finding to my sister-in-law, Madeline Moy. Now, bear in mind, I decided at this point it was time to haul my well-insured ass over to the doctor- cuz, in my mind, three really is the magic number. Madeline's response: "Girl that sounds like some Terms of Endearment shit. You better take your ass to the doctor cuz I'll be really mad at you if you die." And, say it with me: SURPRISE! Madeline didn't go to medical school either.

Well, it was enough for me to make the call. And whenever I'm faced with some scary medical shit, I always, ALWAYS call Dedra Buchwald, MD, PhD- because well, she DID go to medical school. Dedra did a great job preparing me for the upcoming appointment. She was her usual direct, unapologetic self when she said: "Listen, whenever you get swollen lymph nodes and they don't hurt, it's usually bad news." She qualified with: "But over the years, I have seen some surprises." She sent me some really great links about why lymph nodes are swollen- and yes, she scared the poo out of me. But, being a huge fan of the Girls Scout motto, I was prepared.

Normal symptoms of this stupid disease include things like: night sweats, significant weight loss, and oddly enough, lymph node pain when drinking alcohol. I experienced NONE of those symptoms- especially the drinking one, cuz, well, I don't drink alcohol- ever....figures the one freaking time when being an alcoholic would have come in handy.....

Now this might sound really dumb, but I was actually relieved when the dianosis arrived. No, I never ever wanted cancer. However, cancer runs in my biological family. And it takes us out around the age of 43-44. My birth mother died six weeks after her diagnois. She was 44.  And her only complaint was "My hip hurts when I eat Chinese food." Turns out she didn't drag her ass to the doctor when the first symptoms appeared and the cancer had metastasized into her bone marrow. Never figured out how the Chinese were involved. Relief for me comes because we caught this bitch EARLY. And, I get a real fighting chance to save my life.

So, I had been watching and waiting....and now the wait is over. Chemo starts Thursday.